Exercise for me is my way to keep stress under control. It keeps me ‘normal’ and I swear blind that I haven’t had a ‘proper’ argument with my partner since I took up running (whatever he may say!). I knew that exercise benefitted my mental health but I didn’t realise just how much…..
Now I like to think I’m the sort of person that keeps emotion at bay, looks at things in black and white and is quite grounded. I’ll always help and support anyone that wants it or I feel could do with it. My home, work and exercise elements of life have always been pretty stable until my Iife got crazy busy.
At the beginning of winter I got a promotion and spent the next six months working 100 hour weeks, trying to get up to speed and also recruiting for my own replacement (completely all my choice). At the same time I took up the role of secretary to my father-in-law who had been diagnosed with vascular dementia a few months earlier. Over the next six months he moved in to independent living and then a care home, had two long stints in hospital, many doctors’ appointments and at the same time his condition was quickly deteriorating. Doing all the admin for this was easy, watching the most incredible man you’ve ever met deteriorate before your very eyes, not so much.
In my simple world I prioritise my domain with home life and family (nothing more important), work as you spend so much time doing it and it pays or the home life and then exercise is the nice to have, but also the one to forfeit when time doesn’t allow. So as life got busy my training went to pot, I was supposed to be training for London Marathon – this consisted of a half marathon PB, a DNF and not much else – I was failing. The one thing that kept me sane and de-stressed was getting further away from me.
Sparing you all the details, I reached my limit walking out of my father-in-law’s apartment on a Friday evening after having ‘do not resuscitate’ conversations with the doctor, receiving a text from my mother that she’s splitting up with her partner and knowing that I was behind at work and needed to work all weekend just to keep afloat. I cried, I didn’t feel I could cope with anything else that was out of my control. I hate feeling sorry for myself so I cried some more. Even if I had the time for a run, this stuff couldn’t be run off. I’ve seen a few people that have gone to really dark places when they are forced not to exercise due to injury – it’s pretty scary seeing people shut out their familiar worlds and detach themselves from their exercise buddies.
My exercise buddies up to now were like-minded people who we had a laugh together, life never got serious, we always encouraged each other whether it was learning to swim or competing at ironman. I completely underestimated this type of friendship. Friends because we choose to be, because we like each other, because we have common interests and not just because we’ve known each other for years. I know I didn’t ask for help out loud but whatever happened, they heard me, they checked up on me, they gave me so much support mentally and they gave me a focus. I began to focus not on what I was missing out on but what I was going back to after everything settled down. I knew they’d still be there, all the same friendly faces with chat, hugs, cake, encouragement, more hugs and undoubtedly more cake.
The thought of this, along with so many support messages got me through the marathon. The mind is so powerful and I knew that if my mates believed I could do it then I could. Mental positivity far outweighed the lack of training. Said mates came down to London to support and knowing that I was seeing them on course was the final bit of encouragement that I needed. The run may have been a personal worst for me but I never felt so supported and loved in my entire life. I knew it wouldn’t be quick or pretty but I also knew that I wouldn’t let them down by pulling out.
So a few months on, my father-in-law is now at peace, work has settled to a manageable level and I’m back in the exercise circle. The lesson that life taught me is not the benefits that exercise can have on your mental health but the benefits of the people that you meet through it. These guys and girls in my life won’t ever realise how much I needed them, I am always in their debt for such kindness.
My exercise buddies keep me sane, they keep me motivated and they absolutely fuel my fun.
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